My WhatsApp beeps again, oh! one more video on positivity and embracing a different style of thinking, it keeps most of us motivated for a few hours; by the time it’s evening, the effect fades, but you have another video to your rescue and you’re good to go.
I wouldn’t condemn these videos or rant about it but I fall in the group of people who just want to hear positive talks and motivational stories, I like to see the world through the lens of other’s experiences. Diverse opinions and views make it a matter of ‘choice’ now. It’s these videos which often get the maximum views, what does this even suggest? Somewhere we are, in unknown ways searching for happiness, we seek answers to innumerable questions running through our minds.
One obstacle or hurdle, and we start judging the course of the universe instead of working towards making it right. We don’t have perfect lives, naively we live two lives; a mask of perfection fitted to the expected world norms where things are subjected to compromise, apathy, delusion, and sometimes wicked survival and there’s this other side which is vulnerable, desperately seeking purity of thoughts and connection to the soul. Throughout our lives we’re battling this, why not work towards making it harmonious?
You’ll tell me, ‘Sonal, all these things are obvious, why are you even stating it?’ The videos and positive messages which occupy your YouTube/FB/Instagram search history are also the usual facts which just trigger your deepest corners. I’m just hoping this blog post touches the aspects which I also stumble to deal with.
Cultivating Seeds Of Positivity
Let’s take a leap into your childhood days; a happy summer evening where you’re playing with your friends, carefree and content…the only worry you had was homework or winning your game. As you grew your worries grew as well, but what happened to the child within you? It grew too, right? In that aspect your basic traits as a child- love, affection, innocence, cheerfulness, relaxed sleep etc. should also grow, did it?
As a child I don’t remember holding grudges, fights didn’t last longer than a few hours, practical conversations were more dominant than screen-talk, picnics meant packed home cooked meals rather than Subways or McDonalds…though I’m a millennial, I admit that we have forgotten to celebrate the little moments of life.
I clearly remember an incident when I was a little girl, I would often rush to hug my grandma, at times use mushy words she could never understand but would pour my emotions out to her. She was the quiet one, never reciprocated, just smiled or seemed puzzled.
I wouldn’t leave her and tuck in the same bed as her and sleep next to her. I sleep like I own the world, my petite granny would just feel uncomfortable, but never complained about it. She couldn’t sleep (thanks to me) but still made sure I had a sound sleep and only next to her (though my cousins would hate me for this, I was her favorite and she was mine).
I don’t know why she didn’t express her discomfort rather found love even in losing her sleep. She fell off the bed one night and bruised her left eye, I was extremely devasted and guilty for what I put her through. I even fought with her for not telling me she wasn’t at ease, she just smiled and ignored it like it just didn’t happen. Now that I have grown up I get those flashes, each teaching me something about life.
We are often quick to judge a person and question their love at the slightest moment of discomfort, we totally forget the 1000 good things they do and find it hard to forgive the minute spiteful moments. Wouldn’t it be a beautiful feeling if we accepted that everyone’s way of expressing love is different? Acceptance is the first step of loving and being loved.
My grandma taught me the art of selflessly giving your best to people you love and even if it may hurt at times, one should consider the feelings you have for them and how would it be without that person.
We all have our set of worries and battle our inner monsters. We are seeking those answers in the videos and quotes, not realizing we already have those replies within us. Like all, my life isn’t perfect…things that seem rosy from out maybe a dense thorny jungle from within. I’ve learned a simple yet effective formula to bounce back every time I fail or every time life turns its back on me- ‘Plans are meant to fail, there’s a reason they are called plans and not results.’
What you were 5-6 years back, the way you planned your life in your head, it didn’t turn out the same for most of us. This has somewhere drained our minds and questioned our worth. We just hide those negative failures and appear like we have conquered it all, but deep within we still want to be heard and reason out why things aren’t going as per our plans, it was full proof, there wasn’t a chance for it to not work out…aren’t you in a better place now? Don’t you have moments where you tell yourself, ‘thank god! It wasn’t for me!’.
Once you emerge flexible and open your mind towards accepting why it didn’t work? you’ll have multiple options to figure out how else can something better work?
You may be struggling with things in life- getting your desired job, finding your life partner, overcoming the financial crisis, maintaining a positive family atmosphere, staying stress-free, health concerns, giving time to what you love…etc etc. In some way, these problems are circular and differently similar. If I asked you to exchange your life with your closest friend or someone known that you look up to, there’s a 99% chance you wouldn’t, the best problem solver for your issues can only be you. No problem is bigger than what you create in your mind.
Attitude Determines Direction
The simplest and workable way for me to stay positive has been training my subconscious mind to trust in my capabilities and power, just five minutes before I sleep I charge my mind and heal my worries. The trick is to tell your mind that you are accomplished and deserve the best things because you are a pure soul and there’s God within you. God can solve all problems and is worthy of everything superior, nothing can control your life, you are surrounded by only euphoria and pleasant situations.
Your body automatically gets trained to believe that your soul is happy and content, this will not just alter the way you perceive things but you will end up experiencing happiness within yourself rather than making it a dependable concept. Like how you charge your phone each day, sometimes 2-3 times a day, it’s important to charge your mind as well. Thank often and grumble less, there are thousands who envy your life.
You have nothing to lose if you give this method a try, but for sure you will gain what you’ve been searching for. You’ve known yourself the longest, it’s time you break the ice with you and assure yourself of being in an elated state.
No one is ever content, it’s a circle of desires and a thirst to please the soul every time it complains about new things. See it like a situation where your child demands things, you know deep within, you will give it to him/her not immediately but eventually, you explain your child and ultimately manage to convince. The same can be applied to your problems, you know you won’t have an instant solution, but you can logically plan and overcome it.
Real positivity isn’t when you desire a good outcome from something, it’s when you are doubtless and give your best to whatever you do irrespective of the thought whether it will work out or not.
Power to you!